zombies eat brains
by Empress of Everything
Summary: Sting and Jackal are convinced the zombie apocalypse has come. Rogue and Mard capitalize on their terror. And blondness.


**A/N:** It's Halloween! BOO! (Did I scare you?)

Anyway, I'm glad Halloween is mostly over so I don't have to deal with the weird scary stuff that goes along with it. I dressed up as Alice in Wonderland and finished sewing my dress four hours ago. Talk about cutting it close! My sister and brother went as The Cheshire Cat and Mad Hatter respectively. They were very cool. ;) What did y'all dress up as, if you did? I'm going to go binge on Halloween candy and Soul Eater and drink tea now. Toodles, lovies! Enjoy!

* * *

Seeing Sting run about howling in terror wasn't actually an unusual sight around Sabertooth. The blonde overreacted about many things: Rogue actually cracking a smile, Yukino raising her voice at him for being an idiot, some exploit of Natsu's that he instantly had to top, and various other circumstances that the White Dragon had to lose his composure over for no reason.

It being Halloween was a perfect reason to run around in hysterical circles. Sting normally loved Halloween, (the prankster in him coming out full force), but after what Rogue had told him that morning, well…

Jackal, the other blonde mischief maker of Fiore, had never seen one of Sting's undignified displays. He normally spent most of his time hanging around Fairy Tail with the rest of Tartaros, pestering Lucy and looking to pick a fight with Natsu. However, Lucy had booted him out of her apartment with a severely pissed off expression on her face and ordered him to go find someone else to bother, at least until the guild's Halloween party. Who else better than Natsu 2.0, as Laxus had exasperatedly dubbed Sabertooth's guildmaster?

"Run for your lives, it's the zombie apocalypse!" Sting flew by Jackal on what was his five hundred and eighty-seventh circuit of the guild hall. "Hi, Jackal! Bye, Jackal! I'm trying to avoid the zombies!"

Jackal's gold eyes bugged out as he watched unsurely from the doorway, Mard behind him. The Master of Tartaros had been tossed out on his ear by Lucy as well. He had given up bothering Mirajane, who had gone into full demon mode as she decorated the guild for the party, so Lucy was his next target. Unfortunately, Jackal had the same idea, so both demons had been thrown out.

Lucy was not amused.

So in the interest of staying alive, they decided to visit Sabertooth. Jackal had struck up a friendship with Sting, much to the consternation of Rogue and Lucy, and Mard enjoyed Rogue's calm company.

"I don't even know what that means! What is a zombie?!" Jackal demanded, eyes wild. "Are they dangerous? Do I need to blow them up?"

"Zombies are undead creatures that eat brains! They're terrifying! They come after you, pounce, and devour your brains! At least, that's what Rogue told me!" Sting slid to a stop, grabbed a passing Yukino, and pretended to bite her head. With a sigh, Yukino lifted one foot, stomped down, and kicked back, sending her guildmaster flying.

"Ahhhhh!" Sting popped back up easily and shot Jackal an anxious look. "Do you think we should run some more, just in case?"

Jackal nodded, "It wouldn't hurt." With that, they took off again, screeching and bellowing. Sabertooth paid them no mind, simply letting out a collective sigh. At least it was just two of them unlike their Fairy friends…

"They only eat brains, so you two should be fine."

Both blondes froze in their pellmell bolt around Sabertooth's guild hall.

"Really, Rogue?" The black haired man nodded silently. Sting and Jackal slumped in relief. "Oh, okay!"

…

…

"Wait a second…" Sting shot Rogue a suspicious look, searching for a hidden insult in the statement. Rogue kept his face bland, but on the inside he was dying with laughter. _Sting really is an idiot._

"What exactly _is_ a zombie?" Mard questioned.

"It's an undead creature that is said to consume the brains of the living." Rogue answered in his usual monotone voice.

"Oh." Mard looked at Jackal speculatively. The blonde bomber was chattering animatedly with Sting about the explosive qualities of Lucy's bath soap augmented with candy corn, Jackal's new favorite candy, the zombie incident forgotten. "Well then, Jackal is in no danger from these 'zombies'," and he actually made the air quotes! Rogue began to wonder which member of Fairy Tail had taught the demon that particular quirk. "I have often wondered if Lord Zeref simply forgot to give Jackal an actual brain when he created him."

"HEY!"

"Still, Mira has been telling me about this 'Halloween' you celebrate. She said you are to dress up? Is that the case?"

Rogue smiled, an action even creepier than any murderous glare he could ever muster. "Yes, it is."

* * *

Fairy Tail's Halloween party was in full swing. Rogue stood next to the girl he considered his sister, watching over her carefully. He fiddled with his mask and sighed, wondering for the thousandth time how Yukino had talked him into being Tuxedo Mask for Halloween. He suspected Lucy had a hand in it.

Lucy looked stunning, all dressed up as Alice in Wonderland. Her blue dress topped with a white little girl's pinafore combined with her bright blonde hair and black ribbon made her the perfect Alice. She leaned on Jackal's arm, the demon making a very dapper Mad Hatter. Loke hovered nearby, his pink and purple ears twitching. Lucy had explained that since it was Halloween, the barrier between the Spirit World and Earthland was thinner, allowing her spirits to pass through easily and come to the party.

He spotted the blue haired mermaid, Aquarius?, and the pink haired maid both dressed up as the Queen of Hearts and a cheerleader Lucy respectively. Why. Why, why, why.

Looking about, he saw Mard and Mira as a T-Bird and Pink Lady from Grease.

Laxus and Flare were a lightning bolt and a girl struck by lightning. (Rogue had to admit it was a pretty impressive costume.) Little Asuka and her parents were cowboys, as usual.

Jura and Lyon from Lamia Scale had shown up as Jedi, lightsabers included. Orga and Rufus had had the same idea, so the four were dueling in the middle of the guild.

Natsu was running about as Captain America (Happy was Bucky) with a no nonsense Yukino as Peggy Carter chasing him while wielding the famous shield. Across the room, Asuna (Juvia) was mooning over a shirtless Kirito (Gray).

Oh goodness, Jellal and Erza were Team Rocket. What was the world coming to.

Rogue had to hand it to Fairy Tail; they never, ever stinted on their parties. He took another sip of his mulled cider. No alcohol for him tonight if he was planning on getting a most likely dead drunk Sting back home. He nearly spat out his drink as he laid eyes on his idol and idol's mate.

He just had the most scathingly brilliant idea ever. Catching Mard's eye, he jerked his head toward Gajeel and raised an eyebrow. Mard followed his eyes until they settled on Gajeel. A slow, dangerous smirk, the mirror image of Rogue's, curled his lips up. Mard detached himself from the bar and glided elegantly over to the couple ( _the pompous, too smooth for his own good jackalope_ ).

Rogue simply smiled and waited.

"Rogue! You lied to meeeeee!" Sting howled, enormous tears rolling down his face as he bolted away from Zombie Gajeel and Zombie Levy, his pink wig fluttering. Of course Sting had gone as Natsu for Halloween.

"You said they wouldn't come after ussss!" Jackal tossed his hat to a startled Lucy then booked it after Sting. Lucy stared as the dog demon ran like another demon was on his (rather fluffy) tail. She sighed, plopping Jackal's hat on her head and ordering another strawberry lemonade beer. It was going to be a long night.

Rogue and Mard fistbumped. Their work here was done.

* * *

 _ **I will be hosting a MidKino week (Midnight/Yukino) from January 31 to February 6, 2016. Please join me in this new crack pairing love!**_

 **MidKino Week prompts**

 **Day one:** Can I keep you?

 **Day two:** Sugar High

 **Day three:** Roommates

 **Day four:** Late night shopping

 **Day five:** Makeup Fail

 **Day six:** Old Friends

 **Day seven:** Transport

 **Bonus:** Burnt

ALSO! Please check out the MidKino Shippers community! That'll be the place to find all the MidKino week stories. :)


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